Alright, my wise doctor decided that since I'm pregnant, I need to sleep sometimes. Preferably every night and preferably for more than like 3 hours. And I've tried. Oh yes, I have. Counting sheep won't work because if y'all know me, I'm all examining the fiber quality of each one that jumps the fence wondering if maybe I really should get a spinning wheel. Because I'm pregnant and responsible and because Nyquil even when not gestating a human knocks me on my ass, a glass of wine isn't an option either.
So he suggests....FOUR benadryl every night. Uhm, 'cuse me? WHAT? FOUR? Two make me feel like Dopey and Grouchy's love child so there was no way in hell I was taking four. I tried two. I got sleepy and then it felt like I had WWIII going on between my legs (OMG, I seriously just read that back...that sounds bad. So bad I simply must keep it here to give all the other sick, twisted minds out there a giggle.) But what I MEAN (you sicko) is that my legs just fight each other and themselves for hours after the benadryl kicks in, which I think is restless leg syndrome, but if I had to name it I'd call it "cut off your legs so you can sleep" disorder. All around SUCK. So....next attempt to do that sleep thing was Unisom.
Oh. My God. Is Unisom derived from 'shrooms or what, because y'all my dreams on that crap are CRAZY.
And we aren't talking the typical naked in front of a classroom, falling from a hot air balloon or running circles crazy. I'm talking so weird that I can't even remember enough details in a logical order to explain them after I wake even though in my slumber it all makes sense and I'm fine and dandy with all the psycho crap happening. I am SO OVER IT.
My kiddos love to sit around and talk about their dreams and what they mean, which by the way is apparently a science or some shiz, but I have no idea where to even start with mine. Lots of airplanes, lots of weird shiz falling from the sky, doomsday, while I'm over there still knitting like "Eh, just a few more rows before the end of the world, I'm good."
I don't think I'll find that here but whatever
Is there anyone out there that can give me some very serious suggestions on how to get to sleep and stay alsleep without falling down rabbit holes of weirdness or wanting to perform my own amputatoin cause y'all I AM SO TIRED!! HELP?!!?!?