The Coffey Family "We Suck" Meeting was called to order, Decemeber 3, 2012 at approximately 5:00 p.m. The Honorable Jamie Coffey presided whilst holding Emory, who was enamoured with Calla's face for the duration of the meeting. Melissa Coffey, co-anchor of the Ship De La Coffey, also in attendance, spreading out dinner preparation over three children vying to use the cheese grater. Thankfully much cheese was needed for casserole and she diplomatically divved up the cheese so all hands could have a turn.
Meeting started with acknowlegment that Cassidy sucked. We must clear this up each meeting, as Ms. Cassidy always has the first word when we sit down to "discuss" and her words are always "Is this a we suck meeting..?" Yes, my dear, yes....
Jamie proceeds by asking the children if they would like the status of tenant in our home, or family member. Confused looks appeared on all faces that knew what the words meant. Jamie explained a family member lives in our home because we love them and a tenant pays rent. Eli was the only child who thought it would be cool to have enough money to pay for his living space. All concurred that they preferred family status. Long explanation as to what Jamie's jobs are in steering the family boat, not discounting the huge contribution of our family's entire income. Props to Jamie for keeping us fed ;)
Discussion of expectations verses reality. Discussion of trust and how Melissa does indeed, trust all children over the age of 8, to do what they are supposed to do without micro-managing every second of the day. Discussion that all those seconds of the day Melissa is dealing with babies, diapers, school books, and ninja toddlers. Discussion of how ninja toddler can destroy an entire room in five seconds and acknowledgment of frustration from all parties, with a gentle reminder that all children pass through annoying (scary) toddler phase and current toddler needs some grace and love, not duct tape and a cage. Discussion of how resident 5 year old is whopping all their asses in cleaning and having a good attitude.
Trouble-shooting commenced. No one is assigned kitchen floor duty on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Whoops. Melissa asks all four older children to hold out their hands for paper, rock, scissors, thinking maybe one person would whip them all and we'd do a process of elimination thing, but that was a total fail. We had two rocks, one scissors and one paper. So we moved on without really figuring out who would do the floor on those days. Note to self, think on this today. Votes for kitchen improvements and a proposed timeline for changes to be implemented. Notes taken on zones and what the issues at hand were. Issues noted, and written down.
Proposal of extended training program was met with some apprehension until program was duly explained. Goal in mind is that all children know how to complete not only their zones, but everyone else's in an acceptable fashion. Melissa suggested one training round could be the nasty refridgerator that she hasn't quite figured out how to clean one handed. Groans started, but then came to an immediate halt when the word "Allowance job" was thrown out. Reiteration that children that do jobs created by family living, by themselves, get paid and paid well. All children wanted Fridge Training, but only one will be selected for this round of "What the heck is in this tupperware...." until next month. Discussion of what type of green food we'd be serving with dinner casserole interuppted allowance discussion and we experienced a quick pass through the Twilight Zone when all children did a "Yay" sort of thing when Jamie remembered we had brussel sprouts in the deep freezer. (And I quote, "Its the vegetable version of popcorn..." What??)
Meeting was ended with an admonition to do their jobs really fast, with a good attitude because we had ONE more episode of Walking Dead before their season break and that would not be put on until all chores were done and done well. Melissa notes, to herself, that Monday bribes have now come to a halt and is sad. Although, most of the fun from watching this isn't in the actual show, but the acting out of five big kids being zombies and one ninja toddler taking them out with a cap gun....before the show comes on.
Extended training program enjoyed it's first session with Mallory and went exceedingly well. She and her Daddy caught up on all the to-be-folded laundry and got all clothes put away. We will be going littlest to biggest, so Eli is next and I'm curious to see what task he will be tested on this evening.
If I had a vote, it would be "Toilet tissue removal from drain..." because ninja toddler baptized 12 (TWELVE!!!) rolls of toilet paper this past Saturday while his bath was running and we are still getting it out of the tub.
Until next time, here's hoping all changes and ideas and solutions work their magic and we can enjoy a wonderful, clutter-free, plumber-free and peaceful holiday season!!