I used to be head over heels in love with another man. Now, now, this was pre-Jamie, so don't get your feathers all riled up by this admission. Besides the dude was wayyyyy too old for me. And famous. And, well, married, so yeah, things just weren't going to work out but a girl could still dream. As a matter of fact I'm pretty sure the number of women in love with this particular dude is well over a million but that's okay too, because I found my one and only. You want to know who right? Well, he sings, and was in one movie that I can recall, Pure Country. You'll have to look it up if you want to know.
Anyhoo, in the movie there's a mix up and he appears to the main characters that he's a big old piece of crap...and one of the characters says the thing about that white bit on top of chicken poo....it's still poo. A good bit of moral wisdom there right?? :)
One of my most glaring personality flaws is my optimism. I know it seems like a good quality at first, but it's kind of like the Midas touch...it gets old really fast. A healthy amount of glass half full optimism is good, lovely and helpful. A chronic inability to recognize the half empty part can have you all sorts of frustrated your entire life. Believe me, I know.
When things happen to me or around me, I always use the opportunity to examine. Why did this happen? Why do people do the things they do? Why do *I* always end up disappointed, frustrated and angry? Well number one, I appear to be a poor judge of character and at the root of it is pride. (Just follow me here a minute) I tend to give people more credit than they have due because they may have some kind of similarity to me (and I've written about this before) so my pride tells me because they are LIKE ME in some random area, they must be good. (Wrong) Who am I to say my particular set of qualities equals GOOD in the first place? What I value the most may be what someone else values the least and in that, I might be the type of person THEY wonder about, get frustrated with and angry at (I'm sitting here thinking you should never end a sentence with a preposition....and there I go, ending a sentence with one....and also, my son is absolutely adorable, just had to say that!)
I suppose it's all about perspective AND it's all about knowing when to stop expecting someone to change. I value change. HIGHLY. I love rearranging my furniture, painting something a new color, trying a new food....becoming a better person. I value change very much. Freshness. Newness.
Time, for me, always gives the illusion of change. If enough time has passed, I think I can return to something or someone that let me down in the past and everything will be different. After all, in that time, I've learned, grown....changed...and I always expect the other element has as well. Time has a funny way of washing just enough dirt off of something to make it appear attractive again, but it's just trickery. If you set that object back in the dirt, it WILL get dirty again. And you WILL be disillusioned again....and it sucks.
Until you realize you are the dirt. YOU are the element that makes that object unattractive again. It's not the dirt's fault. Dirt is good in its own right, but it just doesn't mix well with certain other things and once you realize that...once you realize you are either the dirt or the thing that gets dirty, you have a decision to make. Commit to washing periodically or stay out of the dirt. It really is that easy.
And somethings are worth washing over and over again. Some are not. The key is to be aware that you always have to make that choice. For yourself. Eventually a pattern will etch itself into your brain and you'll get better at making that determination a little quicker. At least I have.
It sounds so cliche, but life is too short to include people who constantly drain you, suck the life out of you, bring you down....if you spend anytime ranting about how absolutely maddening a person is, it really is better to just completely cut it out. Remove. Cauterize.
Today, after a reminder of this...(I'll keep that reminder to myself thankyouverymuch) this kept returning to my brainspace...
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly (Prov 26:11)
So the lesson is....the white part of chicken poo, although it appears different than the rest...is still poo....and only a fool returns back to the putrid castoffs his body wisely rejected....and if someone is any of these things...(so that we cover all nasty bodily functions here) you can tell that snotty, stinky loser to....piss off ;)
Or a more polite version.