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Monday, January 7, 2013

New To Her?

I always get tickled when I hear the phrase, our "new to us.." something or the other because it pings my love for appreciating things others have cast off.  The thriftiness in me runs deep, not for financial reasons, but because I despise waste and over-consumption.  It's just a thing of mine.

But there are definitely times when something old is better left in the garbage, in the cast off pile, in the place where you don't ever plan on digging again.

My sister.

Yeah, I'm talking about another human being and I hate it.  My sister has surfaced again.  With more drama. With new stories of how life and the people in hers have wronged her, once again, and how it's not her fault. I honestly don't want to hear about it.  I could have recorded entire conversations my mother had with my sister 6 years ago and just replayed them for my mom today and it wouldn't be any different.  But for my mom, it's all new.  A new hope that her daughter has maybe, finally gotten her act together.  That maybe THIS time she's bringing honesty to the table, rather than a bunch of bullshit lies.

We've done this before.  Many, many times before.  And the first few times, even I fell for the "unusual circumstances" my sister found herself in.  Her "bad luck" in having things stolen, of losing money, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, all the time.  However, after the same scene repeating over and over and over again, I got wise to it and finally had to get my head around the fact that there are people that cannot be saved by my hand, or anyone else's.

But not my mom.  She says she's being cautious.  But the fire in her voice, defending my sister to people she's never met says otherwise.  Her getting involved with the child abuse investigating people, giving them MY phone number.  Not cool.  I asked my mother today how on earth such people would even GET my phone number and she replied 'Oh I HAD to give it to them...'  No, no you didn't.  That is MY personal information and I really do not appreciate you handing it out in the midst of my older sister's drama, especially an older sister I know nothing about and have no contact with.  There is no reason for my name, my life or my phone number to be on anyone's radar concerning her.

I'm trying to look at it from a mother's point of view.  I understand my mother's undying hope that one day my sister will stop being a dumbass and will finally contribute something to the planet, rather than sucking it and all who know her dry, but as a sister, I just can't do this again.  I hope the best for her, but at this point, there's nothing left.  I really have no desire to know her.  There's nothing there.

And it makes me sad.

But not sad enough to believe again.

Or sad enough to support my Mom believing again.  No sugar coating anything this time.  This is one family reunion I won't be attending :(

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